A Sexual Past Made New

00:00 - Speaker 1 Real Life presents the Jack Hibbs Podcast with intention and boldness to proclaim truth, equip the saints and impact our culture. 00:09 - Speaker 2 Hey everybody, we got a question and we love getting questions and somebody wrote us and they are a virgin. And what about them being a Christian and a virgin? And they meet up with somebody who is a Christian but they're not a virgin. Should that relationship move forward or should it not move forward? 00:30 - Speaker 1 Let's find out. You can get the outlines of this podcast by going to jackhibbscom slash podcast Today. If this podcast lifts you up and encourages you to live a more fulfilled life in Christ, then make sure you leave us one of those five-star ratings. To us that's like saying amen or yes. Then that rating will encourage others to listen. Now open your hearts to what God's Word has to say to you. Here is Jack Hibbs. 01:01 - Speaker 2 Hey, welcome to this edition of the Jack Hibbs podcast and we are grateful for you being with us right now and you're going to be, I think, seeing us reaching out to you guys, asking you guys for more and more topics and some of the things that we're going to be bringing your way is something that we did quite a while back and we don't know what happened. I think it's one of the sad things about being too busy is it was a great thing, we had a great time, we got a great response and then we just moved on and that was shotgun rounds, where we had a button I had one minute 60 seconds to answer questions and then move on, and it was a really great success and a lot of fun. So we're going to resurrect that and bring that back, cover a lot of ground, fun and really organic in the sense that it's not rehearsed. I don't review the questions in advance. It's pretty fun, but today, let's dive into something today. Advance, it's pretty fun, but today, let's dive into something today and it's like everything that means something to us all from the scripture and or in life is controversial. Of course, if it's important, it's going to be controversial. Just know that. 02:20 And book of Hebrews, chapter uh 13, verse four marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled. But fornicators and adulterers, god will judge. Let's get the obvious out of the way First. It's the latter end of the verse. Fornicators and adulterers, god will judge. Uh, we know from scripture that fornicators and adulterers I'll explain that in a moment are actually under the judgment of God, unless they come to Christ. But that's true for the drunk, isn't it? That's true for the proud man. That's true for the self-righteous woman. That's true for the unrepentant, unconverted harlot. It's true for the unconverted everybody, unconverted, everybody. 03:02 If we are not born again, john, chapter 3, and as the Bible says, atoned for that is washed in the blood of Christ Jesus. That means that the work that Jesus did at the cross for your salvation and mine was accomplished in him and through him. If you've not experienced new life in Jesus, you don't have to be an adulterer or a fornicator to have the perpetual judgment of God over your head like a storm cloud. You have that storm cloud over your head anyway. We're all condemned without him and that's the only way that a holy, righteous God operates, because he is a God, the God who. There are consequences to our decisions, because he's holy and he wants us to walk with him and to know him. But if we refuse, then everything in the kitchen sink is against us, and so that's why, in life, and sink is against us, and so that's why, in life, people will live their life and they'll try to mitigate that guilt and that reality with drugs and alcohol, and they try to also make their lifestyle so packed with stuff that they avoid being alone, because they can't afford to be alone, because if they're alone, then their thoughts turn inward and then God begins to speak and they can't have that happen. So they go from one relationship to the other or one drama to the other. And if this is a weird statement, but it's true, it's very, very strange. If this type of person that I'm describing, if the drama that is around them is starting to fade away, they'll create drama or they'll create a crisis, they'll create a conversation, they'll create something. You know what it's like? An adult version of a temper tantrum to avoid the situation. To avoid the situation, instead of throwing themselves down and hurting themselves and going crazy like a little kid, they will create something to distract their own life from digging deep. So that's out of the way. 05:15 Fornicators what's a fornicator? A fornicator? The word in the Greek for fornication is the word pornea. You guessed it. Pornea is where the word porn originates from, and it's sexual immorality, any type of sexual immorality, any type. 05:34 God condemns that. Why? Because it's a spiritual event. Physical activity, sex with God is a spiritual issue. You can read in 1 Corinthians 6-7 regarding that. You can read Genesis 1, where God says that Adam and Eve the two of them, male and female that when they come together they'll be one flesh. That's the meaning of the one. Fleshness starts right there and so, and then adulterers so fornicators, are those who experience sexual relationship outside of marriage. 06:12 An adulterer is someone who experienced sexual relationship who's they're either married or the person that they're with is married. Somebody in the situation is married. God says that's adultery and so that's out of the way. We'll talk about those things some other day, but this is important. Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled. Wow. So this is incredible. Wow, so this is incredible. 06:56 God says that for the believer married in marriage, he says marriage, the marriage bed, that God not only invented physical relationship and how it works, but God also gave instruction about it that our sexual activity should be sanctified, it should be with one person. That person should be your spouse. And to pursue or to go other areas outside of that, god condemns that. And you might be thinking well, you know, he's just an ogre, he doesn't want me to have any fun, what's the deal? No, he actually wants you to save, he wants to save your life and he wants to keep you from ruining people's lives and ruining future children and ruining you internally forever. It's totally destructive outside of the bonds of marriage. 07:46 But let's talk about somebody right now, for example, let's talk about somebody who, um, maybe, if we, if we have the time, we'll do a combo of this example, a combination of examples. Let's say that you are a virgin and you are now interested in this particular person. You see them maybe at church, or you see them maybe at work, but you're a Christian and you happen to be a virgin, happen to be a virgin, and so you meet this woman or this man at work or at church or wherever, online, I don't know, whatever and you like each other and you're conversing with each other and you're a conversation and, um, and you, you, you see this camaraderie, you see this, you find them interesting and exciting. And and, uh, you know, you guys meet up for coffee and you're talking and you find out that you can relate to one another and in some way, shape or form, physically, you're attracted to one another, and so then watch this. So you're the virgin and, in the context of our conversation, you're the believer. You're the virgin and in the context of our conversation, you're the believer and the person that you are now really enjoying and really have strong feelings for, and you could actually see this relationship going somewhere as you spend more time together. 09:19 Right, this is life. You spend more time together. You talk deeper, you go deeper. Hear me out, please. Be patient, not with me. Be patient in your life. Be patient for you as time. That's why you don't want to rush into a relationship. You want to find out everything you can Over time. When the person that you're interested in feels comfortable enough. It's then, and only then, that they feel safe enough with you to actually tell you more. Okay, they share with you more about their life Hypothetical, remember. 10:01 You're the virgin and now you're a Christian, or maybe you've been a Christian all your life, it doesn't matter. You're a Christian and you're a virgin and you find out that this person that you now really, really like, and you might even be thinking that you might be falling in love with them. So they're happy, they're excited and they say well, as you know, I wasn't always a Christian. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. Well, I, you know my my BC days, before Christ days, I was very promiscuous. Oh, what does that mean? Well, I was. I was sleeping around like a tomcat. What does that mean? Well, I was sleeping around like a tomcat. 10:43 Oh, okay, why are you telling me this? And this person's thinking should I have told you? I thought we were. I trust you, we have a great relationship. You should know everything, don't you think? Now, pause right there. Yes, you do believe that you should know everything, don't you? Me too. 11:02 So they're feeling comfortable enough to say but now, that's not what you wanted to hear, because you're a virgin and you're struggling with them not being a virgin because before they became a Christian, they were all over town. Uh-oh, now, what do we do? What do you mean? What do you do? Well, they're not a virgin. Are they a Christian? Yeah, have they walked with Jesus since they became a believer? Yeah, so you're a virgin. Praise the Lord and you became a Christian, or you grew up in a Christian home. At some point you're a virgin praise the Lord and you became a Christian, or you grew up in a Christian home. At some point you accepted Christ. And now this person that you think you love has a checkered past, to say the least, and you just found out about their past. And you now you've. Now you're pulling back Number one. 11:56 I understand the concern, because here's your concern. Your concern is is it really their past? Is it really over? That's a good question, good concern, legitimate. But you know you could be a virgin, but you were a big liar, and so this person used to sleep around town, but he never lied about it, right. So they were a fornicator and an adulterer, but they came to Jesus and they got saved. You never did that because you're a virgin, but you're a whopper of a liar and that's really important to this person. Could you imagine if both of you come together and say this relationship's over because you had a past of being promiscuous? Yeah, yeah, you're right. This relationship's over because you told lies in the past. See where I'm going with this. It's endless. So my point is this to what degree. 13:01 In 2 Corinthians, chapter 5, starting at verse 17, when Paul the Apostle introduces the Corinthians to the fantastic, wonderful hope and assurance that, if they're in Christ Jesus, they are a new creation. All things have passed away, behold, everything's become new. Why? Because we've been reconciled past tense to Christ. Therefore, god has given you and me the ministry of reconciliation. Therefore, be ye reconciled to God and to one another. That's what the Bible tells us and so, by the way, it's all based upon verse 21, that he who knew no sin became sin for us, that we might receive the righteousness of God which is in him and through him, by faith. 13:51 Wow. So watch this. What are you going to do? This is heavy In your mind. You're saying to yourself I never want to marry a person who was a liar because they could backslide and become a liar again. 14:15 I understand the concern. Or you could say I don't ever want to marry someone who is promiscuous because they could backslide and do that again. Legitimate concern Doesn't matter if you're listen. What if somebody is a murderer and they get saved? What if they backslide? Yikes, right. Okay, you get my point. Anybody could backslide. It's not good. You want to avoid it, of course, and you don't have to backslide. 14:47 So the issue is this If you're moving down a path of a relationship and your question is I don't know if I could marry them now because they had a past, okay, you need to understand something. Is it possible that God brought you guys together as opposites that way? What about this? Is it possible that God brought you guys together as opposites and the person that you're interested in, who is promiscuous? What if it's all out of their system and they, in fact that whole world led them to repent of it and come to Jesus? Because that world was so destructive. It was death, it was pain, it was disease, sorrow, sickness, horrific bad right, they know what bad is. Listen in Christ. They can be a great asset in your relationship because they know the bumps and bruises of the world, right? 15:47 So the question is this does Jesus really make people new? Does he really make us over? Does he really make us restored and recreated in him? The answer is yes. So which one will it be? 16:05 You need to be careful that if you love this woman and she's fantastic, but you found out that she used to be a professional liar and you say, well, I can't marry her. Now she says well, wait a minute, I'm new in Jesus. Yeah, not that new. Wait man, you need to repent, because you're telling God that he didn't do a redemptive work on not only this person, me or anybody else. Think of it. Watch out, because then who's good enough for you? See, you can. It's okay to have standards, that are things to look for, that's fine. But when it becomes the 11th commandment, now that's a problem, because a high probability that you have a bar set that nobody can meet because someone's going to be guilty of something regarding their past that's how we got saved in the first place is because we were wretched sinners and Jesus saved us. In fact, you know what? Listen to this. What do you think about Jesus? Jesus Christ, jesus of Nazareth, jesus born in Bethlehem. What do you think about him? Are you sure? What do you think about him? Are you sure? Because Jesus in relationship and having access to the throne of Christ. 17:39 In the genealogy of Christ, you have people like Rahab. Rahab was the woman in Jericho who was a prostitute. Did you know that she's related to Jesus? Did you know that she's related to Jesus? Think about moving forward. Think about Rahab's past. But she was washed because of her faith in the Lord. Right, think about those who have come from backgrounds. Think about Mary Magdalene in the New Testament. She was washed. But here's the interesting thing about Rahab Rahab was a harlot. At some point she gets converted to the God of Abraham, isaac and Jacob, right, converted to the God of Abraham, isaac and Jacob, right. She apparently got married. She apparently had children, and her genealogical line, if I remember right, didn't Boaz come from her line. You know, boaz and Ruth, wow, in the book of Ruth, wow, you mean Boaz, the great Boaz of the Bible, in the book of Ruth, was related to a prostitute, yep, but she was changed. 19:05 You see, listen, be careful that you place all of your relationships before the Lord and remember God's grace that is extended toward your life, toward your life, because we could get saved and begin now to think such high thoughts of ourself that we actually become impressed with ourselves. And so we must find someone who mirrors our morality and the standard that I've set for me. So I'm going to go find a woman in Christ that is worthy enough to be my wife, you see. And so I'm going to go to college and career group, or to you name it right, you know what I'm saying and I'm going to meet somebody and maybe they'll meet my standards. 20:00 Listen, you need to be careful about that Always wise, always discerning, but understanding this that God washes people clean when they come to him. And if they exhibit a transformed life, which is key, then you need to be gracious and trust God. All right, and God, look, it's honorable to be a virgin and it's honorable not to be a liar. These are precious things, but when you begin to make them a stumbling block to what God wants to do in your life, it becomes a problem. So maybe somebody might say well, are you downplaying being truthful or being a virgin? Not at all, not at all. But here's the thing those things, if they become areas of self-righteousness and pride, then the very how do I say this? The very virtue that you're so proud about, becomes actually a sin, because you make it into an idol. You want to be careful. In fact, jesus said the person who sins much and is forgiven much loves much. That's a powerful statement. 21:25 So what about someone's sexual past? Is it really in the past? Yep, yes, it is. So expect God and trust God to do his big plan. And how big is this plan? I have to begin to wrap this up. How big is God's plan of redemption? How much sin can God forgive? Let me put it to you this way Can you sin so much that, god, it's too big of a lift, it's too much Sorry? Can you imagine God saying to you I would love to save you, but, man, after evaluating your list of sins, I know I died on the cross for sins, but, man, your life, yikes, that's too big of a lift for me. That's ridiculous. Of course there's no sin so great and there's no abundance of sin that he cannot forgive. 22:22 The whole key point is this did you repent and are you walking in a state of repentance? That means, are you walking with the Lord and he'll take care of the rest. But let's be very careful that. Well, what if I marry this guy and he used to be promiscuous? Am I violating God's rules? No, there's no rules. Well, am I somehow destroying my virginity if I marry this guy who was not a virgin? No, you're not. 22:57 Are you both Christians? Have you been renewed? Are you born again? Are you new creations in Christ? Then you're new creations in Christ and you begin your life in Christ and you continue your life in Christ and I'm just so grateful that God redeems people like that, because those people like that are people like me and they're people like you. And the only problem is and you're saying, well, I would never Look. I'm glad Jesus dies for sinners. I'm glad that he died for sinners. Paul the Apostle said he was the chief of sinners. Wow, no wonder why Paul was so radical for God. He must have been forgiven a lot. So probably in departing from this podcast right now is if you're a Christian, here it comes. 23:58 If you're a Christian, the Bible says do not be unequally yoked. What does that mean? It means don't get in relationships with non-Christians. It has nothing to do with two Christians. One's a virgin and one was not a virgin. That's not unequally yoked. Unequally yoked is a believer mixed with an unbeliever. The Bible says don't do that. Stop the relationship. It's not going to work. And yes, I can hear you now You're saying but my friend led her boyfriend to Christ and they got married. That's called God's mercy and it doesn't normally work out well. Okay, there's no missionary dating. I know that's a big emotion, but the Bible says do not be unequally yoked. It brings about heartache and destruction. Marriage is tough enough between two believers in this fallen world. You only compound it when you marry an unbeliever, and so be careful about that. 25:01 Look, I know this was kind of an interesting thing, kind of off the cuff kind of a moment, but hopefully it's played some practical input into your life right now. Know this that if you're a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, you've been born again by the power of God. You have a new life and in that new life you walk with the Lord, and God will bring to you the person that he wants for you. It's for you, over time, to get to know them and to work through issues of life with them, and don't self-destruct the relationship because you're thinking or feeling things that are outside the grace of God. Be wise, be discerning, but don't be proud. Know what the will of the Lord is and by all means do that will that he has for you. So listen, god bless you guys. 26:01 Thanks for joining us. Share this with people. Let people know about it. If it blesses you back, let people know. We just love having you guys follow along with us and share, let people know, spread the word. But God bless you guys, and until next time. We look forward to seeing you guys Walk with Jesus. Stay close to him. The days are wild. Everybody, this is an amazing time. Get close. If you're not close, get close to him now. Believers be looking up. At the same time, be making preparations with you and your family for the next 50 years. Right, we have to plan for the future all the while looking up. Let God interrupt our lives as we plan for the future. May he come today. May he come today In Jesus' name, and all God's people said amen. God bless you. 26:54 - Speaker 1 This Jack Hibbs podcast, as well as all the broadcast outreach opportunities, are listener supported. Will you consider partnering with us through a special gift? Go to jackhibbs.com to learn more and stay connected.