The War Against Marriage

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Real Life presents the Jack Hibbs Podcast with intention and boldness to proclaim truth, equip the saints and impact our culture.

00:09 - Jack Hibbs (Host)
Ephesians 5, verse 33,. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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This is amazing because if he loves her the way Christ loves the church, she will respect him. To live a more fulfilled life in Christ, then make sure you leave us one of those five-star ratings. To us that's like saying amen or yes. Then that rating will encourage others to listen. Now open your hearts to what God's word has to say to you.

00:59 - Jack Hibbs (Host)
Here is Jack Hibbs. The war of 2024 is against husbands, husbands. Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 25 says this husbands love your wives. Do you guys see any wiggle room in that? See any options in there? No, just as. And, by the way, what's our example? Okay, pastor, husbands love our wives. What's the example here? It is Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. Husbands are supposed to be sacrificial providers for their homes. Husbands Husbands are to be lovers of their wives. Husbands are to take care of their home and the protection of their home and for the supply of their home. Husbands of their home and for the supply of their home. Husbands.

01:48
Today, in our world around us, husbands are made fun of, husbands are mocked and a lot of husbands have inflicted a lot of self-inflicted wounds about being a husband. And we don't need to do that. We can follow God's example. Why, what do we do? Verse 26, that he watch this, that he, jesus, might sanctify and cleanse her. The church watch this with the washing of the water of the word, the husbands to do the same thing, just as Jesus says to us that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish Verse 28,. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

02:38
Now you think about this for a moment. Jesus Christ loved the church so much that he laid down his life, and that's the example for husbands is to lay down their lives for their wives. You say, oh pastor, if you knew my wife, you wouldn't lay down your life. Listen, here's the amazing thing, man. Listen, I got good news for you. God has anointed the man in marriage to be able to rescue his home. Maybe? Listen. What if you're married to an unbelieving, godless woman? God gives you the ability to win her over. It's supernatural. You love on her. You ask God, god, how do I love her? Listen, god knows exactly how your wife needs to be loved and he'll tell you if you ask him, because you know you've been trying to figure it out for years and you haven't done it yet. Listen, we can't do it on our own. But the husband? In this day and age, marriage is under attack. What does that tell you? It means that satan hates marriage and satan hates husbands because the husband has the power to make or break a wife. That sounds like a very, very bold and bombastic statement, but it's absolutely true. Have you ever seen a beautiful woman with an ugly man in marriage? So how'd that happen? And then you see how he treats her and that woman realizes this is a husband.

04:02
We were at dinner the other night and we had the young waitress just kind of eavesdropping our conversation and I don't know what age she was, but she's young, and she says I'm done messing around. She said I want a relationship that's going to be a long-term relationship. I want to get married, I want to have a life. And we thought that was very refreshing, wife, and we thought that was very refreshing Husbands love your wives, the Bible says.

04:32
And the Bible says in the book of Proverbs, chapter 18, verse 21,. Listen, all the husbands and men should be writing these down. If you're not, then girls and wives write them down for them. Proverbs 18, 21 says death and life are in the power of the tongue. We all know that. Right, you know we can pull out our tongue and say something to somebody that would not only make their day, but make their life. Did you know that you can say something to somebody? And, by the way, listen, young ladies. Young ladies long to hear affirmation from their dads. We live in an age when that's not happening so much so they find affirmation in whatever guy comes along who says a nice word. Those nice words should be coming from a dad. We'll talk about this more later, but husbands ought to be speaking to their wives in words that give life. If we're going to make it in 2024, the number one thing under attack is your home, your family, your life, your children and you, being a husband. Men, I'm speaking to you. These four things are very important that we need to be careful as men, as Christian men. We're talking about biblical manhood here.

05:41
We're talking about the tone of our voice. When we speak, we can say the right thing the wrong way. It doesn't come out right. Now, listen, I'll throw myself under the bus A lot of times. I say something and I meant something completely, and then it comes out and it's like oh no, can I reel that back in? Because everything about it was right but it didn't sound right, because everything about it was right but it didn't sound right. And then you feel like you're backed into a corner. What are you going to do?

06:11
The tone of your voice matters how we speak, and then the use of the words that we select Husbands. We need to use the right kind of words. We need to tell our wives rightly, properly, not in a way that's fake or false in any way, but we need to tell them you look beautiful today, I love you, that was a great job you did, that was an amazing achievement on that project, or that was a great meal, or that was a wonderful evening out. We need to say it. Well, she already knows it. It doesn't matter. If she knows it, say it. We need to speak it. And then also the environment. This is something that is very powerful. There's an environment. A husband has the power to affect the environment or the atmosphere of where he lives. Did you know that A husband has the power to shape an environment In a home?

07:12
I grew up in a very stern home, a very quiet home. I know you find that hard to believe, but see, I'm making up for lost time. We didn't Very quiet home. You could you find that hard to believe, but see, I'm making up for lost time. We didn't Very quiet home. You could hear the grandfather clock ticking and just a really quiet house, but very stern.

07:34
And when my dad was sick my dad never repeated anything. He would never repeat a word. You either caught it the first time or you'd catch the back of his hand. You better be listening. And the tone of the voice and what we say. But the atmosphere as boys you know, we'd goof off. We're boys, boys goof off. But then when my dad would pull up, everything changed. Was it a oh boy, dad's home, let's play, let's fight. We're gonna climb the tree together, we're gonna go. It was straighten up, stand straight, tuck your shirt in and don't talk unless you're spoken to. What kind of atmosphere do we as husbands leave or create in our homes? God cares about that and there's a war on husbands. To have husbands be something that is maniacal or hard or cruel, and that's the way of the world and that's an offense to God.

08:37
In 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 7. 1 Peter 3, verse 7, says Husbands likewise dwell with them, that is, your wife, with understanding. Okay, that's impossible. You know that right. Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding. You can't do that, it's impossible. That verse right there tells you the Holy Spirit must be active in our lives. We must look at that verse this way Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding. Dear God in heaven, help me to understand my wife, and that's not any attack on me or my wife. It is a human, natural life issue.

09:17
We can say something. She takes it different. She can say it I got it different. It's like what? What's going on? This is part of the fall. We need to navigate that. But we need the Holy Spirit to help us in our relationship and we need the Holy Spirit's power to cause us to be husbands Giving honor to the wife. Giving honor to the wife. What does that mean? Put her on the top shelf. That's what it means. Leave a verse up here real quick.

09:45
I'm not really big on this, but I read a book on this. You know ballet. You know ballet. Did you know? In the original ballet, did you know that the woman always wore white? I don't know what they do nowadays, but she always wore white. And does anybody know what he wore? Black. Do you know the stage was what color? Black. The color what was? The curtains Black. Everything's black, except what Her and you know when she's flying around the audience only saw her being elevated, being propelled, caught gracefully, put down on the earth and then thrown up again and spun about. She was the only one that you could see. And then thrown up again and spun about. She was the only one that you could see.

10:48
And in marriage it's to be like that, because a man ought to be secure in who he is and his calling in life as a husband that God has called you. Perhaps Not all men are called to be married. Some men are called to be single but some are called to be married. Some men are called to be single but some are called to be married. And the way that we live our lives is like. Christ served the church and what does he do? He elevates the church, he gifts the church, he blesses the church. And let me tell you, you have a man that takes care of you that way. You're going to keep him. He's worth keeping. He's a keeper Boy.

11:23
It's quiet in here right now Giving honor to the wife. As to the weaker vessel, that's not an offensive statement. It means that she can't bench 250. And, as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Isn't it amazing how many men think they're praying and God's not listening because he has a horrible marriage relationship with his wife, husbands. God made us husbands. God loves that design and he's for us.

12:00
Ephesians 5, verse 33,. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular, so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. This is amazing because if he loves her the way Christ loves the church, she will respect him. There's none, like you know. Okay, I've got three loves in on you and you've only got one respect on me. Come on, there's none of that. Love keeps no scores.

12:31
1 Corinthians 7, verse 16. 1 Corinthians 7, verse 16 says For how do you know, o wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, o husband, whether you will save your wife? Paul the apostle was writing to believers in Corinth and they were very, very messed up. Church came out of very, very cult-like culture in Greece and many of them got saved. But listen, maybe the husband got saved but the wife didn't, or the wife got saved and not the husband. So what are you supposed to do about that? The Bible says win them to Christ if you're married to somebody who's not a Christian. That's your mission field. Oh, I wish God would send me to Peru. Well, listen, maybe your missionary field is sleeping right next to you, your husband or your wife. Which leads us to number seven, which is regarding the wife. The war of 2024 is against the wife, the wife. Think about it. Think about pop culture today. Think about culture at all. Think about what our kids are being taught.

13:38
Think about, when you mention the word husband, wife, marriage, what do you hear among your friends or neighbors or your acquaintances? How do they view what a wife ought to be? It's predominantly mocked, made fun of the institution of being a wife. Listen, proverbs, chapter 12, verse 4, says an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. That word crown in Hebrew is the surrounding wreath of glory. Let me read it, then, this way An excellent wife is the crown of glory that surrounds her husband's head. That's beautiful.

14:19
There's a scene in Jurassic Park, the first one, where Malcolm says the woman asked him scientist, malcolm, are you married? He said oh, no, I'm single, but I'm always looking for a future ex, mrs Malcolm. What a disgusting statement that is. Oh, I'm always on the hunt for my next ex-wife. But is that not the way of this world. We name the name of Jesus. Listen, the number. Look, I'm up here on Sundays and Wednesdays, but my family knows me Right. Who knows me better than anybody else on this planet? My wife and you know.

15:05
Listen, you can look at a woman. I'm telling you right now, you can look at a woman. Before you ever have a chance to talk to her, or maybe you'll never talk to her at all. She's just walking by and being involved in ministry. As long as we have, you can look at a woman and you could tell if she's abused or not. I don't know if you know that or not, but if this is the work that you do and we do that kind of work I can tell when a woman's abused or not by how she carries herself, the look in her eyes, the demeanor on her face, what is known as her deportment. How does she carry herself, her shoulders, her purpose, how does she carry herself, her shoulders, her purpose Serious things. Why do we bring this up? Because we are forming a barrier against the attacks of the enemy against our lives this year. I can't speak for any other church, but it's my prayer that this church not survive 2024, but conquer flourish thrive in 2024.

16:05
The Bible says in Proverbs 18, verse 22, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I can tell you right now, proverbs 18, 22 is exactly what happened to my life. I can tell you right now, proverbs 18.22 is exactly what happened to my life. God saved me at the age of 19, because I probably wouldn't have lived to the age of 20. God saves me at the age of 19. I make this conclusion I'm going to make money, live at the beach and be single for the rest of my life and serve God. That was my plan, totally committed to that Make money, live at the beach, serve God. And that was all working fine, by the way. And then I was at work. It just happened to be that I was playing volleyball at the beach. That was part of my job.

16:54
And a friend of mine says hey, jack, there's a great Christian girl over there walking with her friend. She's a great Christian girl. And I said, yeah, right, you know, don't talk about that. And he goes no, no, I'm serious, I'm serious. And he said come on, come on, come on. So he introduces us. She's cute, she's cute, but that's it us. She's cute. She's cute, but that's it. And so we're talking, and then we talk some more, and then talk, and then a few.

17:28
Take this now out a few weeks, and now, about the third week, I remember thinking okay, I have to make a decision here. I got to stick to my rules, my plan. She's messing up my plan. But you know what? Listen, take this if it works for you.

17:55
I was thrown on the horns of a conundrum what shall I do? I had hung around with her too long where I just couldn't walk away. But if I decided to walk away, I somehow knew inside that I was walking away from something that would not be gotten back. So when you're having that battle of do I commit or do I walk away, and the question you must ask yourself is can you walk away without looking back? Well, that was easy. No, I could not. So I don't know how soon into our relationship I bought a ring. But I bought a ring without her knowing about it. I got a ring and I don't know how many months I waited. But I asked her to marry me why? Because I concluded there is no way that I could live the rest of my life knowing that some other guy has got this gem of a woman he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

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