A Sexual Past Made New

Real life presents the Jack Hibbs podcast with intention and boldness to proclaim truth, equip the saints and impact our culture. Hey everybody we got a question and we love getting questions and somebody wrote us and they are a virgin and what about them being a Christian and a virgin and they meet up with somebody who is a Christian but they're not a virgin should that relationship move forward or should it not move forward let's find out you can get the outlines of this podcast by going to jackhibbs.com slash podcast today if this podcast lifts you up and encourages you to live a more fulfilled life in Christ then make sure you leave us one of those five star ratings to us that's like saying amen or yes then that rating will encourage others to listen now open your hearts to what God's word has to say to you here is Jack Hibbs. Hey welcome to this edition of the Jack Hibbs podcast and we are grateful for you being with us right now and we you're gonna be I think seeing us reaching out to you guys asking you guys for more and more topics and some of the things that are we're gonna be bringing your way is something that we did quite a while back and we don't know what happened I think what's one of the sad things about being too busy is it was a great thing we did it we had a great time we got a great response and then we for then we just moved on and that was shotgun shotgun rounds where we had we had a button I had one minute 60 seconds to answer questions and then move on and it was a really great success in a lot of fun so we're gonna resurrect that and bring that back cover a lot of ground fun and really organic in the sense that it's not not rehearsed I don't review the questions in advance it's it's pretty fun but today let's dive into something today and it's like everything that means something to us all from the scripture and or in life is controversial of course if it's important it's going to be controversial just know that and book of Hebrews chapter 13 verse four marriages honorable among all and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulterers God will judge let's get the obvious out of the way first it's the latter end of the verse fornicators and adulterers God will judge we know from scripture that for fornicators and adulterers I'll explain that in a moment are actually under the judgment of God unless they come to Christ but that's true for the drunk isn't it that's true for the proud man that's true for the self-righteous woman that's true for the unrepentant unconverted harlot it's true for the unconverted everybody if we are not born again John chapter three and as the Bible says a tone to four that is washed in the blood of Christ Jesus that means that the work that Jesus did at the cross for your salvation and mine was accomplished in him and through him if you've not experienced new life in Jesus you don't have to be an adulter or a fornicator to have the perpetual judgment of God over your head like a storm cloud you have that storm cloud over your head anyway we're all condemned without him and that's the only way that a holy righteous God operates because he is a God the God who there are there are consequences to our decisions because he's holy and he wants us to walk with him and to know him but if we refuse then everything and the kitchen sink is against us and so that's why in life people will live their life and they'll try to mitigate that guilt and that reality with drugs and alcohol and they try to also make their lifestyle so packed with stuff that they avoid being alone because they can't afford to be alone because if they're alone then their thoughts turn inward and then God begins to speak and they can't have that happen so they go from one relationship to the other or one drama to the other and if this is a weird statement but it's true it's very very strange if there if this type of person that is that I'm describing if there's if the drama that is around them is starting to fade away they'll create drama or they'll create a crisis they'll create a conversation they'll create something they'll you know what it's like an adult version of a temper tantrum to avoid the situation instead of throwing themselves down and hurting themselves and going crazy like a little kid they will create something to distract their own life from digging deep so that's out of the way fornicators what's a fornicator a fornicator the word of in the Greek for fornication is the word pornea you guessed it pornea is where the word porn originates from and it's sexual immorality any type of sexual immorality any type God condemns that why because it's a spiritual event physical activity sex with God is a spiritual issue you can read in first Corinthians chapter six and seven regarding that you can read Genesis chapter one where God says that Adam and Eve the two of them male and female that when they come together they'll be one flesh that's the meaning of the one fleshness starts right there and so and then adulterate so fornicators and are those who experience sexual relationship outside of marriage an adulterer is someone who experience sexual relationship who's they're either married or the person that they're with is married somebody in the situation is married God says that the adultery and so that's out of the way we'll talk about those things some other day but this is important marriage is honorable among all and the bed wow so this is incredible God says that for the believer married in marriage he says marriage the marriage bed that God not only invented physical relationship and how it works but God also gave instruction about it that our sexual activity should be sanctified it should be with one person that person should be your spouse and to pursue or to go other areas outside of that God condemns that and you might be thinking well you know what he's just an ogre he doesn't want me to have any fun what's the deal no he actually wants you to save he wants to save your life and he wants to keep you from ruining people's lives and ruining future children and and ruining you internally forever it's totally destructive outside of the bonds of marriage but let's talk about somebody right now for example let's talk about somebody who maybe if we if we have the time we'll do a combo of this example combination of examples where let's say that you are a virgin and you are now interested in this particular person you see them maybe a church or you you see them maybe at work but you're Christian and you and you're you happen to be a virgin and so you meet this woman or this man at work or at church or wherever online I don't know whatever and and you like each other and you're conversing with each other and your conversation and and you you see this camaraderie you see this you find them interesting and exciting and and you know you guys meet up for a coffee and you're talking and you you find out that you can relate to one another and in some way shape or form physically you're attracted to one another and so then watch this so you're you're the virgin and in the context of our conversation you're the believer and the person that you are now really enjoying and really have strong feelings for and you could actually see this relationship going somewhere as you spend more time together right this is life you spend more time together you talk deeper you go deeper hear me out please be patient not with me be patient in your life be patient for you as time that's why you don't rush into a relationship you want to find out everything you can over time when the person that you're interested in feels comfortable enough it's then and only then that they feel safe enough with you to actually tell you more okay they share with you more about their life hypothetical remember you're the virgin and now you're a Christian or maybe you've been a Christian on your life it doesn't matter you're a Christian and you're a virgin and you find out that this person that you now really really like and you might even be thinking that you might be falling in love with them so they're happy they're excited and they say well as you know I wasn't always a Christian oh yeah yeah I know well um I you know my my BC days before Christ's days I was very promiscuous oh what does that mean well I was I was sleeping around like a tomcat oh okay why are you telling me this and this person's thinking should I told you I thought we were I trust you we have a great relationship you should know everything don't you think now pause right there yes you do believe that you should know everything don't you me too so they're feeling comfortable enough to say but now that's not what you wanted to hear because you're a virgin and you're struggling with them not being a virgin because before before they became a Christian they were all over town oh oh now what do we do what do you mean what do you do well they're not a virgin are they a Christian yeah have they have they walked with Jesus since they became a believer yeah so you your virgin praise the Lord and you became a Christian or you grew up in a Christian home at some point you accepted Christ uh and now this person that you think you love has a checkered pass to say the least uh and you just found out about their past and you now you now you're pulling back number one I understand the concern because here's your concern your concern is is it really their past is it really over that's a good question good concern legitimate but you know you could be a virgin but you were a big liar and so this person used to sleep around town but he never lied about it right so there they were a fornicator and an adulterer but they came to Jesus and they got saved uh you never did that because you're a virgin but you're you're a whopper of a liar and that's really important to this person could you imagine if both of you come together and say this relationship's over because you had a past of being promiscuous yeah yeah you're right this relationship's over because you told lies in the past see where I'm going with this it's endless so my point is this to what degree in second Corinthians chapter five when the starting at verse 17 when Paul the Apostle introduces the Corinthians to the fentastic wonderful hope and assurance that if they're in Christ Jesus they are new creation all things have passed away behold everything's become new why because we've been reconciled the past tense to Christ therefore God has given you and me the ministry of reconciliation therefore be reconciled to God and to one another that's what the bible tells us and so uh and by the way it's all based upon verse 21 that he who knew no sin became sin for us that we might receive the righteousness of God which is in him and through him by faith wow so watch this what are you going to do this is this is heavy in your mind you're saying to yourself I never want to marry a person who was a liar because they could backslide and become a liar again I understand the concern or you could say I don't ever want to marry someone who was promiscuous because they could backslide and do that again legitimate concern uh doesn't matter if you're listen what if what if somebody's a murderer and they get saved what if they backslide yikes right okay you get my point anybody could backslide it's not good you want to avoid it of course and you don't have to backslide so the issue is this if you're moving down to a path of a relationship and your question is I don't know if I can marry them now because they had a past okay you need to understand something is it possible that God brought you guys together as opposites that way what about this is it possible that God brought you guys together as opposites and the person that you're interested in who was promiscuous what if it's all out of their system and they've they would they in fact that whole world led them to repent of it and come to Jesus because that world was so destructive it was death it was pain it was disease sorrow sickness horrific bad right they know what bad is listen in Christ they can be a great asset in your relationship because they know the bumps and bruises of the world right so the question is this does Jesus really make people new does he really make us over does he really make us restored and recreated in him the answer is yes so which one will it be you need to be careful that if you love this woman and she's fantastic but you found out that she used to be a professional liar and you say why can't marry her now she says well wait a minute I'm new in Jesus yeah not that new wait man you need to repent because you're telling God that he didn't do a redemptive work on not only her this person me or anybody else think of it but watch out because then who's good enough for you see you can it's okay to have standards that are things to look for that's fine but when it becomes the eleventh commandment now that's a problem because high probability that you have a bar set that nobody can meet because someone's going to be guilty of something regarding their past that's how we got saved in the first places because we were wretched sinners and Jesus saved us in fact you know what listen to this what do you think about Jesus Jesus Christ Jesus of Nazareth Jesus born in Bethlehem what do you think about him are you sure because Jesus in relationship and having access to the throne of David which he did genetically and legally is it interesting that in the in the bloodline of Christ in the genealogy of Christ you have people like Rahab Rahab was the woman in Jericho who was a prostitute did you know that she's related to Jesus um think about moving forward think think about um Rahab's past but she was washed because of her faith in the Lord right think about those who have come from backgrounds think about Mary Magdalene in the New Testament she was washed um but here's the answer to think about Rahab Rahab was a harlot at some point she gets converted to the god of Abraham Isaac and Jacob right she apparently got married she apparently had children and her genealogical line if I remember right didn't Boaz come from her line you know Boaz and Ruth wow in the book of Ruth wow you mean Boaz the great Boaz of the Bible in the book of Ruth was related to a prostitute yep but she was changed you see listen be careful that you place all of your relationships before the Lord and remember God's grace that is extended toward your life because we could get saved and begin now to think such high thoughts of ourselves that we actually become impressed with ourselves and so we must find someone who mirrors our morality and the standard that I've set for me so I'm going to go find a woman in Christ that is worthy enough to be my wife you see and so I'm going to go to college and career group or to you name it right you know I'm saying uh and I'm going to meet somebody and maybe maybe they'll meet my standards you you need to be careful about that always wise always discerning but understanding this that God washes people clean when they come to him and if they exhibit a transformed life which is key then you need to be gracious and trust God all right and look it's honorable to be a virgin and it's honorable not to be a liar um these are precious things but when you begin to make them a stumbling block to what God wants to do in your life it becomes it becomes a problem so maybe somebody might say well you are you downplaying being truthful or being a virgin not at all not at all but here's the thing uh those those things if they become areas of spirit of self righteousness and pride then the very how do I say this the very the very uh virtue that you're so proud about becomes actually a sin because you make it into an idol you want to be careful in fact Jesus said the person who sins much and is forgiven much loves much that's a powerful statement so what about someone sexual past is it really in the past yep yes it is so expect God and trust God to do his big plan and how big is this plan I have to rep I have to begin to wrap this up how big is God's plan of redemption how how much sin can God forgive let me put it to you this way can you sin so much that God it's too big of a lift it's too much sorry can you imagine God sent you I would love to save you but man after evaluating your list of sins oh I know I died on the cross for for sins but man your life yikes that's too big of a lift for me that's ridiculous of course there's no sin so great and there's no abundance of sin that he cannot forgive the whole key point is this did you repent and are you walking in the state of repentance that that means are you walking with the Lord and he'll take care of the rest but let's be very careful that well what if if I marry this guy and he used to be promissuous am I violating God's rules no there's no rules well am I somehow destroying my virginity if I marry this guy who was not a virgin no you're not are you both Christians have you been renewed are you born again are you new creations in Christ then you're new creations in Christ and you begin your life in Christ and you continue your life in Christ and I'm just so grateful that God redeems people like that because those people like that are people like me and they're people like you and the only problem is if you're on the other side of the screen and you're saying well I would never look I'm glad Jesus dies for sinners I'm glad that he died for sinners Paul the Apostle said he was the chief of sinners wow no wonder why Paul was so radical for God he must have been forgiven a lot so the probably in departing this from this podcast right now is if you're a Christian here it comes if you're a Christian the Bible says do not be unequally yoked what does that mean it means don't get in relationship with non-Christians has nothing to do with two Christians one's a virgin and one was not a virgin that's not unequally yoked unequally yoked is a believer mixed with an unbeliever Bible says don't do that stop the relationship it's not going to work and yes I can hear you now you're saying but my friend led her boyfriend to Christ and they got married that's called God's mercy and it doesn't normally work out well okay there's no missionary dating I know that's a big emotion but that's the Bible says do not be unequally yoked it brings about heartache and destruction marriage is tough enough between two believers in this fallen world you only compound it when you marry an unbeliever and so be careful about that look I know there's just kind of an interesting thing kind of off off the cuff kind of a moment but hopefully it's played some practical input into your life right now um know this that if you're a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ you've been born again by the power of God you have a new life and in that new life uh you walk with the Lord and God will bring to you the person that he wants for you it's for you over time to get to know them and to work through issues of life with them and don't don't self-destruct the relationship because you're thinking or feeling things that are outside the grace of God be wise be discerning but don't be proud know what the will of the Lord is and by all means do that will that he has for you so listen God bless you guys thanks for joining us share this with people let people know about it if it blesses you back let people know we just love having you guys follow along with us and um share let let people know spread the word but God bless you guys and until next time we look forward to seeing you guys walk with Jesus stay close to him the days are wild everybody this is an amazing times get close if you're not close get close to him now believers be looking up at the same time be making preparations with you and your family for the next 50 years right we have to plan for the future all the while looking up let God interrupt our lives as we plan for the future may he come today may he come today and Jesus name and all God's people said amen God bless you this jack hips podcast as well as all the broadcast outreach opportunities are listener supported will you consider partnering with us through a special gift go to jackhids.com to learn more and stay connected